


Love is...

by Lunik



Category: Bedlam (TV)
Genre: Drabbles, F/F, Out of date characterisation, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-22
Updated: 2011-08-22
Packaged: 2017-10-22 23:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/243531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunik/pseuds/Lunik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Molly knows for a fact that she's selling herself too cheaply, but Kate knows that she'll never get a better offer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love is...

**Love is… Not caring how late it is.**

It was late. Really late; even Zoe had crashed out, and the sun was making its presence known. But Zo had decided to end her night in Molly’s bed, and Molly was too smart to think about joining her. Not again.

Kate had no excuse for being awake. But she had thrown a dirty look after Zoe when she’d disappeared, and offered Molly coffee to sober her up. The coffee’d had whiskey in, though, so ‘sober’ hadn’t happened.

They’d just stayed awake together, keeping Moll in the living room, away from Zo.

When Kate kissed her, Molly didn’t pull away.

 

 **Love is… Not harping about your problems.**

Sometimes it felt like Molly stopped existing during the day. The whole world went to work and Molly… stayed. It felt like fading away. And Molly felt like running away, to Beijing or Burundi and never coming back.

Then her flatmates arrived home and she’d be embarrassed to have felt that way at all. She wasn’t going anywhere. She’d make everyone tea and Kate would tell her about her day, selling flats no one wanted to buy.

“Really, Moll, sometimes I’d give anything to be you.” she said one time. Then she grinned. “Hey — would your Jobseekers’ cover Bedlam Heights?”

 

 **Love is… Sometimes a danger zone.**

Ryan from college moved in to help with rent. Well, there was room, the flats were enormous. Molly would have worried – how could it be difficult to sell a place like this? – but it wouldn’t do her any good. Kate needed her, so here she was. Then Ryan was settled, and Molly was trapped. Borneo was still calling, but she wouldn’t answer.

And besides. Ryan smiled at her sometimes, when he looked up from his computer screen, and that was nice. And sometimes Kate would see him smile and she’d lace her fingers in with Molly’s, and that was nicer.

 

 **Love is… Keeping you close.**

But Borneo could call pretty loud, and job hunting was hard. Nothing Moll was qualified for paid enough for her to stay at Bedlam Heights. Scrolling through listings for five quid an hour, twelve thousand a year, Molly could only think about driving along uneven roads in Africa, working where you could to pay for your keep.

Kate didn’t understand. She called Molly feckless. Molly called her heartless. Ryan hid in his room, but he could probably hear every shouted word of anger.

Later, when they made up, Ryan could probably hear every moan and muffled scream of heated desire.

 

 **Love is… A picture of happiness.**

Molly wasn’t stupid. And Kate wasn’t trying to hide – Molly knew she was sharing Kate’s affection with strangers. Sometimes more than one a night, but on nights when Kate’s bed was only hers she could tell herself that was okay.

One night she whispered into the skin of Kate’s neck, “Don’t you ever want to try monogamy?”

Kate tipped her head back, eyes closed. “I’m not worried. No one’ll ever replace me in your heart.”

Moll brushed teeth against Kate’s ear. “Don’t you mean the other way around?”

“I know what I said.”

Molly smiled, but she didn’t mean it.

 

 **Love is… A wall that surrounds you, not divides you.**

Molly told herself not to want more. She knew Kate, knew if she asked for commitment she’d only lose… whatever it was they already had. So she kept her mouth shut and took whatever Kate was willing to give.

Sometimes it seemed Kate forgot she was there. Molly wouldn’t blame her. On her worst days, alone in the flat, Molly forgot she was there herself. And Kate was busy at work. They hadn’t had sex for weeks.

And Ryan started bringing her coffee in the morning. To make sure she got out of bed.

Maybe Kate had finished with her?

 

 **Love is… Never having to say you’re sorry.**

“Do you love me?” she asked, too angry to be careful. Kate’s cousin was asleep in the spare room and Ryan had escaped to his computers and Molly needed to know.

“What?” Kate looked deliberately blank.

“You didn’t want him until I told you I did. Is this about me?”

She expected Kate to deny it, expected her to shout. But Kate caught her by the upper arms, pushed her back against the wall, speaking into her mouth, and Molly gasped. “What did you expect me to do, Moll? Smile? Give you advice, how to ask him out? What did you want me to do?”

“I thought-” Moll breathed, trying to look her in the eye, “I thought we were done! You haven’t looked at me in ages-”

“I’ll tell you when we’re done.” Kate growled.

Molly glared. “You can’t talk to-”

But then Kate was kissing her, hard and urgent and just a little bit desperate. Molly tried to push her away, not done arguing. She didn’t want to want her. She wanted to be too angry to think that it’d been weeks since Kate had touched her. But her hand wrapped itself into Kate’s hair, and she fell.


End file.
